Dose of Humor & Candied Cashews

It’s infrequent that I attempt to delve into humor- or anything too poignantly personal- as the Terrified Tastebud. I don’t have a particularly profound reason. And I don’t have cable television at the moment, but I’m still pretty positive there’s a reality show (or fifty) out there that have much higher entertainment potential than my daily musings.

So breathe a sigh of relief… I’ll only dip my toes gingerly into humor today. And, of course, it has EVERYTHING to do with FOOD! You can even have some darn good cashews for snacking as you laugh if you have the very short list of ingredients and a few spare minutes. Feel free to jump now to SweetSourMoments‘ perfect Honey Sesame Roasted Cashew recipe and skip the rest of the dialogue. I promise I won’t mind a bit. Shoot… I won’t even know ;).

It’s been a little over a year that I’ve been a single adult, and the realization has struck me that sharing food from my kitchen has somehow become incredibly complicated. I’m not really sure how this happened.

I love to bake and cook (usually in that order) and generally end up in the kitchen when I’m sad or happy or stressed or excited or it’s raining and I can’t play outside. So, yes. Often. And unfortunately I lack a healthy serving of self control when it comes to sweets particularly. So I give food away. To neighbors. Coworkers. Sometimes random places where I do business. I love it.

Usually people are pretty glad to see me coming with a warm treat. And that’s still primarily the case. Most of my neighbors are happily paired couples and sharing with them is risk-free. Perfect!

But the entertaining twist has become apparent with single men. Of all agesĀ much to my surprise. One of my neighbors is a young guy in his mid-twenties I’m guessing, and he seems to be hanging in a post-fraternity stage of life. That’s ok by me. As long as he eats; which he does. He’s had fresh bread stuffed in his mailbox, cookies, pies (not in the mailbox), candies… but I think it’s taken a full six months for him to realize I’m not the crazy condo lady, a decade his senior, trying to score a date. Really?

The other end of the spectrum was a gentleman at least twenty years my senior who misinterpreted my cookies. After a couple dinners that I thought were friendly gestures, I realized I’d given quite the wrong idea. Frick.

Just in the last week I’m fairly certain I’ve scared away a new friend- my age this time- by sharing one of my kitchen creation staples. Oops. He mentioned he ate this particular item almost everyday, so I figured he’s pretty close to an expert, right? I was curious how my own version compared to what he buys locally.

It felt innocent to me, but I’m just getting used to this new food-sharing phenomenon. My Maman always said “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” but now I’m wondering how to localize only to the stomach. Just stomach for now would be brilliant. Maybe she’ll have some words of wisdom here. Or perhaps you will? Have you ever scared someone with food?

Maybe I should write disclaimers to accompany the treats…

But enough of the food fear… if these little pics of cashews I made this afternoon have you tempted, check out the recipe here by SweetSourMoments. Her instructions are absolutely spot on. I used a silicone baking mat instead of foil to minimize stickiness, and if you’re an I-like-it-hot person, feel free to add a little cayenne.

And I just can’t help myself, but… tied up in a cute little bag they’d be a perfect little food share with a neighbor. Disclaimer attached~

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48 thoughts on “Dose of Humor & Candied Cashews

  1. You are hilarious! You need to preface the food, unfortunately. “This is nothing more than a selfish gesture so I do not get fat, please do not ask me out if you want more cookies, pies etc :)”

    • Holly! I love it! I just may use those words exactly, as long as you haven’t copyrighted them, lol :) And I will CALL YOU SOON! I’m horribly behind, but it will be good to catch up with you, friend :D

  2. You could call them “let’s just be friends candied cashews,” to eliminate any confusion up front. Although I like the suggestion above as well! :)

  3. Way too funny, I know what you mean. I think I’m going to steel your “wondering how to localize only to the stomach” That is priceless!! Over the years I have learned never to cook my Southern Fried Chicken with pan gravy and mashed taters. It brings on proposals, LOL. There are a few men out there that will be happy just eating your delectable cooking! ONLY a few, but they are out there. I finally found one guy that just waits for his foodie phone call, he eats does the dishes and goes home!

  4. I have totally scared off people with food. When we first moved into our neighborhood, I made crown rib roasts, stuffed cornish game hens, individual cheese cakes….. I think I intimidated some of my new friends. Oops!
    Love the “crazy condo lady!”

    • Susie, I can totally see you with a magazine cover-esque crown rib roast and the neighbors sheepishly warming their take-out. I’m sure you did scare them at first! But surely now they realize they completely scored having a kitchen-loving friend :)

  5. There is a reason for the proverb, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” I have encountered this issue quite often. And you should delve into personal musings more often. :)

  6. You make me laugh. I give away food all the time but because I’ve been married for like 500 years nobody attaches any deep meaning to it other than just food. I could see how that would be a big dilemma! Love your cashews.

    • Ok, now you’re the one making ME laugh! So you must have gotten married at the young age of negative 480ish?! :) SSM’s cashews were addictive! They’re gone. And, yes, I did give most away ;)

  7. Hey, If a lady gave me some delicious sweets at my door, I would think she was coming on to me too! But, I get your gesture! I’m sure you made their day, your generosity put a smile on their face, at least! Cashews are my favorite nut!

  8. Hahaha! You are hilarious! I’m always taking food to our neighbors but I’ve been living here for 10 years and they all know me and the Bennett Crew. Actually, I now get smiles and thank you’s rather than puzzled looks of “why is she bringing me food?” I hope your delicious food finds it’s way to the more grateful neighbors. :)

  9. Deb these look awesome and I am the same…constantly giving food away too :) My co-workers usually have a stack of empty containers from the week by the time Friday rolls around! Those cashews look amazing!

    • You definitely have them trained well if they bring back the empty containers! I’ve gotten cookie tins back from a workplace before, neatly washed, with a post-it reading “refill please :)”

  10. Wonderful caramel and – oh so true – musings! I’ve witnessed that terrified look flicker across the eyes as well, and fully agree: disclaimers should be preprinted on all biscuit tins, tupperware boxes, ziplock bags!

  11. Deb,
    I think it is that you are a total catch and these are single guys! Are they scared off or are they scaring you off? You know to take me with a grain of salt but don’t give food away to lonely tools who only suffice to serve as de-facto appetite suppressants. Start calling your married friends down in Lakewood who will happily make a coffee and cake run to accept your sugary donations. Juliet works at a hospital and they will devour anything that comes their way so we can be your “goodwill” and our intentions are but only good will :-)
    Cheers my talented friend!

    • TBA,
      You are too kind! Perhaps you’re right and the scaring is a bit two sided. And I love your willingness to take one for the team :D Married friends in Lakewood… I suppose we could make that work! And yes, hospital folks are usually so overworked that they’ll devour anything (saffron over argon probably). Your goodwill is much, much appreciated! I am so happy you guys are back. I will have a bit of a vaca in a few weeks, and we should all meet and you guys can tell and show me all about your adventures! Cheers my adventurous friend!

  12. Who knew food gifts could be so loaded with meaning – or not? These cashews look good. When I do candied nuts, I’ve discovered that if I dump them onto a granite countertop to separate and cool, they don’t stick to the stone. Easy clean up. Good luck with your future gifting!

  13. LOL you totally cracked me up! I didn’t know giving food could be so loaded. I’ll be quite happy if I had a neighbour who kept bringing me food especially candied cashews. These look amazing!

    • Glad it was entertaining :) I’ve been given many ideas on funny disclaimers, so this has been cracking me up as well. Who knew? :) The nuts were so simple and incredibly addictive!

  14. Ahhh! Thanks so much for the giggles! *frick* huh? LOL! Love it! I absolutely get where your coming from though. I’d love to say a “pffftt, men are so silly”, but I will hold back. ;) Lucky for me I put out a real “Nana Cat” vibe, so people tend to be confused by my food gifts, and pat me on the head and move on. Let us know if you work out a disclaimer? :D

    • Heehee… you’re too cute! “Nana Cat” vibe- I can only imagine! I’m sure you get confused (but happy-tummied) people, especially men! Everyone’s comments have been cracking me up… and there have been some very clever disclaimer ideas. Maybe I’ll come up with some that are printable, lol :D

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